and I miss you!!!   💔

I have not been here the last few weeks because .....well for no other reason other than I just could not find the words.  Needless to say I still feel very empty just knowing that I can't hear your voice.  Conversations are very one sided even though at times I swear I feel you are listening.  I just would like to see you, hear your voice, wrap my arms around you and just know that everything is going to be o.k. but that will only happen in my heart.

Well today marks 12 weeks since you passed away.  The heartache is still as if it just happened except with each passing day I learn to function thru my tears.  It is so hard to believe that it is 3 months today.

We have experienced some of our firsts in the past few weeks since your birthday.  It was ETTs first birthday without you.  It was my first birthday without you.  The first time no card in the mail, no morning phone call with you singing Happy Birthday - seeing if you were the first one, no phone call later that evening to once again send birthday wishes and speak to everyone as we gather in Rhys tradition around Mom's dining room table for dinner and cake.  

It was the first Father's Day and it goes without saying that it was difficult.  It was the first time that on June first I did not get to wish you Happy Uno De Juno.  And these past few weeks would have been the ones where you would have spent your days selling fireworks at the beach.  I know all too well that you were greatly missed this year and that 4th of July just was not the same for many people.  

Mom has been reminiscent as of late.  She pulled out a charm bracelet that you had given her over 50 years ago.  I sat with such intent listening to her tell me exactly what each charm represented.  I could hear you telling her the same so many years ago as you were giving it to her.  For that brief moment you were both there and I shared a glimpse of two young people, my parents, very much in love.  

I miss you Dad more with each passing day.  Mom is right when she says you were a fun Dad, you were and a Great Dad if not the Greatest Dad (well for me anyways).  I am so very proud and greatful that you were mine.